A few posts ago, I introduced readers of this blog to the Alux YouTube Channel. They recently did two videos: One about winning in life, and the other – you guessed it – about losing in life. I want to share both of those videos below, and then talk a bit about one great truth that I live by that the two paths in life share.
Each video is in the 15-minute realm. If you’re planning to watch both fully (which I recommend), set aside about half an hour to really focus on the content. If you don’t have time to watch the videos fully – break things up and come back to them as you have time.
You can totally just read the full lists in the description sections of each video on Youtube or you could skip through and skim the video, but that’s a waste of time. I liken those behaviors to reading a book’s table of contents. You know what the book is about – sure – but you didn’t absorb anything valuable from the book’s perspective.
Since I prefer ending on good notes, here’s the video about losing first:
And here’s the video about winning:
And Now… The Truth…
We, as people taking on each day, can sometimes obsess about winning and losing as if both are permanent states. We desperately cling to the ideas of defining ourselves by the principles at times.
I am winning. I am losing. I am a winner. I am a loser.
Nothing in life is permanent, and that’s the great truth that I live by, whether I’m doing well or terrible in a moment. Nothing lasts forever and life is just a compilation of moments stitched together. These are moments that you either fully take in and allow to thoroughly wash over you or moments that you just watch pass you by like cars on a highway.
Even the most successful people in the world will have bad days, and conversely – even those of us on a losing streak can win every now and then.
I am not saying to find a balance between the two states of being, nor to expect that. You can win or lose most of the time (facts).
But what I am saying is that you have to be open to the idea that neither state, winning or losing, is permanent.
Win or Lose…
There is an easy way-, and a way that you’ll have to work a bit harder at, to change your perspective from either side of the coin you currently view your life in.
First, you can choose to change your perception of a situation. A person can get used to damn near anything, and people do it all the time. If you hate your job, look on the bright side that you have a job and that you can pay for certain things and take comfort in that to keep it moving. If you don’t like your relationship with your family, just be happy that you have a family and resolve to be thankful for that and to love them unconditionally. And so on.
People do this type of stuff ALL the time.
I can’t say whether such an approach is right or wrong. Different strokes for different folks and all that. And also, some situations genuinely call for this method because certain things are out of your hands or any other number of infinite reasons.
And let’s not forget, some of us are just lazy. You may not even be lazy about everything in life as a general statement, but sometimes we just don’t want to put in the effort of the next method.
What is the second method?
You can actually choose to take action(s) to change the situation (and possibly exercise a little patience or deal with unwanted results).
Going back to our job example above – rather than sit and accept the fact that you don’t like your job, you can:
Apply for a new job internally
Talk with your supervisor about what things you aren’t enjoying and want to change
Network and make other project connections at work to change roles (in an unspoken way)
Quit and find another form of gaining money with either a new job or taking things on independently
These are options that actually require a little more effort on your part and can either have immediate results or take a little longer to pay off. They can have immediate consequences for better or for worse.
That is the risk you take in acting on this second method, but – either way – this one puts you in the driver’s seat a little more than the first option did.
Ultimately, take whatever path brings you the most peace at the time. But, I’d think whatever route gives you the greatest sense of agency in your own life is the one that SHOULD win out (because it’ll bring you the most peace in the long run). And if you’re wondering, yes – you can have a sense of agency from the first option (or at least, the illusion of such in some circumstances).
For the record, I have personally indulged in both methods at different times – so no shade to anyone on either route.
Win or lose, live your life. Try not to just ride along all of the time and let life happen to you. Try not to just wait and see what happens. We don’t have that much time in this life as it is – so you might as well TRY to get what you want out of the experience.
Just my two cents. Take it or leave it.
While I am curious whether you feel like you’re winning or losing at life right now, I also fully acknowledge that that’s just none of my business and that endorsing such views is problematic and can have unhealthy end results. I just want you to be happy and pursue whatever invigorates your soul. Realize that you will feel like you’re winning AND losing at life at different points in your life and be ok with that minor inconvenience of existence.
Hey – it keeps life interesting (that’s the Optimist in me coming out)!
These are things for you to make peace with on your own, and I wish you the best with it. Whatever end of the spectrum you’re on right now, you have the cajones to get through all of it with gusto. Believe in yourself and live the life you want to live.